Sweater Weather

We are experiencing an extreme cold front in Miami this week. 60 degrees. Brrrrrr. So this morning I shoved my tank tops aside and opted for a warm, cozy, turtleneck sweater. After dropping Annie Bea off at her preschool and…

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Onions

Onions make Jason gag and dry heave and, if they’re crunchy enough, projectile vomit. It’s important to know these little details about your significant other so that when you have a fight, you never have to go to bed angry.…

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Wackjobs

They should have a psychiatrist in every Labor and Delivery room handing out Wackjob certificates to all the new moms. Because the second you gain a baby  is the second you start losing your mind. You go from “La De…

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A Strong Black Woman

My first boss in the real world was Penny Hawkey. She hired me right out of school and showed me the ropes in a gigantic, fast-paced, New York ad agency. As an award-winning writer from the Mad Men era, she…

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You Play What You Know

For the first ten years of my life, my parents, my sister and I rented the top floor of a two-family house in South Hackensack, NJ. Then my father moved to Long Island to start his own company. A year…

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TM

Overheard this morning. Grady: Annie, do you know what a trademark is? Annie Bea: No. Grady: You DON’T? Oh, Annie. This is important. Annie Bea: What is a trader? Grady: No. It’s a trademark. And a trademark is an evil…

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The Finger

When Jason arrived at school today, Grady’s teacher greeted him with a concerned look in her eyes. Teacher: Mr. Levine, I have some bad news. Grady gave Max the finger. Jason: He what? Teacher: Grady gave Max the finger and…

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Amazon Review

The kids have been begging to go camping. If you know Jason and I, you know how totally horrible this idea is. Especially in Florida. Something tells me we’d end up pitching our tent on top of a couple of…

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Derby Doolittle

My maiden name is Derby. And I have a long history of being chased by animals – llamas, squirrels, birds, fish, cats, iguanas, horses, frogs – they all want a piece of me. So from time to time, my friends…

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