If I ever want to see my husband in shoes again, we’ll have to move to Minneapolis or Anchorage.
Jason loves flip flops. He wears them to work. He wears them to dinner parties. He wears them to do yard work and while hauling tree limbs to the curb after a hurricane. And yes, Jason has been banned from the gym for repeatedly running on the treadmill in his fucking flip flops.
Gym Guy: Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave. You cannot run on the treadmill wearing flip flops. My manager said you have no more warnings. You’re out.
Jason collects his car keys and his insulin pen from the cupholder. He steps down from the machine, holds his head up high and adjusts his jeans before storming out of the gym.
Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop.