Rated X

Jason and I were watching a murder-mystery show (as usual) when Annie Bea waltzed into the room. We couldn’t find the remote to pause before the host described a man being decapitated and showed a series of bloody photos. Whoops.

Me: Annie, get out! You can’t see this. It’s not for kids! Hurry. Get out.
Annie Bea: You’re watching an adult movie?
Me: Yes.

Since then, Grady and Annie Bea open our bedroom door very slowly, peek their heads in and gently ask, “Can we come in or are you guys watching adult movies?”

(Awkward pause.)

But I don’t care. The kids can tell everyone they meet that Jason and I watch adult movies all day long because you know what? Those five little letters, A D U L T, are giving us so much more pleasure than the real adult movies ever could. I’ve even started experimenting with new ways of using them.

Grady: Mom, can I have some of your ice cream?
Me: Sorry, bud. It’s just for adults.
Grady: It’s A D U L T ice cream?
Me: Yes.
Grady: Phew, thanks for the warning.

Eureka! My favorite pints of strawberry Halo Top are now officially rated X – for adults only.

What next? Adult remote controls? Adult doors? Adult computers and tablets and phones? The possibilities are endless.

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