We are experiencing an extreme cold front in Miami this week. 60 degrees. Brrrrrr.
So this morning I shoved my tank tops aside and opted for a warm, cozy, turtleneck sweater.
After dropping Annie Bea off at her preschool and making small talk with the other moms, I headed for work. The first thing my friend, Sasha, said to me was this.
Sasha: I love your sweater. Are those marijuana leaves?
I looked down at the pattern printed across my chest. No clue. I rolled my eyes. Crazy Sasha. Then Frank walked by.
Frank: Cool marijuana sweater!
I looked down again. Fuck.
I never thought I could possibly be that clueless mom. The mom who believes her kids when they say it’s a vase, not a bong. Or who asks the kids where they’ve been and smiles with delight when they say the library. But here I am. Sitting at my desk, wearing a sweater with cute little “maple leaves” all over it.
I’d love to hear what the preschool staff had to say after I left this morning.
Teacher: Annie Bea, how was your mom feeling this morning? Did you notice her snacking a lot in the car? Was she listening to Bob Marley?
Annie Bea: I don’t know.
Teacher: Ok, I’ll talk to her at pickup. What time is she coming to get you?
Annie Bea: Four twenty.
(I’d like to extend a HIGH five to Urban Outfitters for making this sweater possible. I’ll be running all future purchases through a Google search from now on.)