This Is Your Captain Screaming

Yesterday we boarded the plane for our first of many family adventures this summer. About 20 minutes before landing, my son had to use the bathroom. The bathroom we had been sitting next to the entire flight. Grady was in there for a minute or two when suddenly we heard loud banging and crying.

Grady: Help! I’m stuck! Someone help me!

My husband was standing outside the door screaming and banging back.

Jason: Just open the door, bud! Just open it. Go ahead. You can do it.
Grady: I can’t! It’s stuck. Help!
Jason: Push the lock this way.
Grady: What way?
Jason: THIS WAY!
Grady: This way?
Jason: I don’t know. Did It work? No? Try that way.
Grady: What way? I can’t! I don’t know what way you’re talking about!
Jason: THAT WAY!

Jason was getting really loud so I did the signature “wife whisper-scream” to my darling husband.

Me (whispering): Jason! You’re screaming! Everyone can hear you!
Jason (screaming): I don’t care.

While Grady continued screaming and banging, the little bell sounded and the pilot came over the speakers.

Pilot: Flight attendants take your seats for landing.

Jason: Grady, we’re landing! Open the door now!
Me (whispering): Stop screaming!
Grady: Help! I can’t open the door!
Jason (screaming): Will you stop telling me to be quiet?! Grady, push the lock over.
Flight Attendant: All passengers must be seated and buckled immediately.
Me: Get him out of there. He needs to be seated.
Jason: What does it look like I’m doing?
Pilot: Please be seated for landing. All passengers must be seated.
Me (whispering): Hurry! We’re going to land!
Jason (screaming): Do you think I don’t know that, Nicole?

Just then Grady opened the door and smiled, “I forgot to turn the doorknob. Can I have a snack?”