After a long day of work and kids and more work, I finally got into bad at 9 PM. I could feel my body melting into the sheets as I turned on the TV for some superficial entertainment. I barely pressed the GUIDE button when Grady came running into the room screaming, “I lost a tooth!”
Son of a bitch!
Are you kidding me right now?
I had, what?, 45 seconds to relax? Now I have to get up and write a goddamn Tooth Fairy note and possibly drive to an ATM because my kid doesn’t have a Venmo account and no normal person ever has cash anymore? Oh, and let’s not forget that I also have to wait up for Grady to fall asleep so I can tiptoe into his room and leave the note and cash. My early retreat just turned into an all nighter.
Of course, this was everything I was thinking. What I was saying went more along the lines of, “Holy moly! That’s amazing, Grady. Let’s see it. Wow, this is so exciting! I’m so happy for you! The Tooth Fairy is going to love this tooth. I just know it.”
I will say, I mustered up a good Tooth Fairy note despite my bitter mood.