It’s been a looooong time since I’ve written in my blog.
Holidays. Visitors. Work. Cub Scouts. Ballet.
I got busy.
Caught up, bogged down and overwhelmed.
Then, yesterday, something profound happened. A piece of my heart broke and it made me want to write again.
This is a message for Grady and Annie Bea about loss:
Life is short. Miniscule. It’s a teensie-eensie, tiny-winy, little-ittie-bittie life.
I cannot think of a more cliche thing to say but I also cannot think of any three words that speak more truth. Life. Is. Short.
So here it is.
I want you love. As hard as you possibly can. Even if you are loving harder than the other person. Who cares? Because (I’m guessing) if you are loving that hard, it’s because the person you love makes you feel something good. And you deserve that. You deserve all of the good things. I know, because I made you and you’re perfect.
I want you to sacrifice. If someone needs you or your time or your talent or your company or your goddamn left shoe, hand it over. Whatever it is… give it away. It’s good to give. Because giving makes you empathetic and empathy makes you human and humanity makes you kind and kindness makes you cool. You wanna be cool? Yeah? It’s important? Cool, then give.
I want you to laugh. I want you to make fun of things (including me). I want you to joke around and be a wiseass and screw up and laugh in church and tell a joke over and over and over and over until no one thinks it’s funny anymore. Buy the whoopie cushion. Sit in the front row at the comedy club. Say something unacceptable. If no one laughs, joke’s on them. Because you thought it was funny and that’s all that matters.
Yesterday, our family lost someone really really really special. Someone who loved as hard as humanly possible. Someone who gave everything she had to everyone she loved. And boy did she laugh. In 23 years, I don’t think I ever spent a minute with her when she wasn’t laughing.
There’s only one person who will get this ending and that’s on purpose.