Just My Luck

After a long day of work and kids and more work, I finally got into bad at 9 PM. I could feel my body melting into the sheets as I turned on the TV for some superficial entertainment. I barely…

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Rise and Shine

This morning I woke up next to Annie Bea instead of Jason. As I was wondering where my darling hubby went, I checked my phone and saw that he sent me a text at 12:38 AM. It was just a…

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The Diary of Revenge

Grady loves to read. He loves science. He likes to test out experiments and learn about new species and plant gardens and solve puzzles and catch fish. He wants to love sports and wrestle and other things that most “manly…

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This Is Your Captain Screaming

Yesterday we boarded the plane for our first of many family adventures this summer. About 20 minutes before landing, my son had to use the bathroom. The bathroom we had been sitting next to the entire flight. Grady was in…

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Dear Grady

It’s Thursday, June 7th, 2018, your last day of first grade. As I look back on the past school year, I’d like to point out some of your greatest accomplishments. Charity. You organized your very own philanthropy. Day in and…

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OMFG

While playing a sweet, innocent game of chess with my son tonight, I answered a text message. (Don’t judge me. It was a text about happy hour. You would’ve done the same thing.) Anyway, obviously frustrated, Grady started complaining that…

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Jerks Don’t Get Lice

I never had lice as a child. But as an adult? Twice. And both times I got it from my son. I got it from snuggling up close and reading to him. From loving and hugging him. From brushing his…

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Wrong Playdate

I love my husband but he does not have an eye for details. He once wore a mismatched pair of flips flops for three weeks – one of the flip flops wasn’t even his and it was two sizes too…

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Did You Lock the Door?

Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? The door swung open and there he was. And there we were. And there it was. Daddy’s ass. Grady: What on EARTH is going on in here? I just got…

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Yo God, You Just Got Punk’d

Easter fell on April Fool’s Day this year. During the collection at mass, Grady decided to test God’s funny bone.