I’m Not a Scientist

While dying Easter eggs, I was reminded of the fact that I am not a scientist. Here’s the play by play. Grady: What are these candies for? Me: They’re not candies. Don’t eat them. Grady: What are they? Me: They’re…

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Coddling Santa

I have the only kid on earth (correct me if I’m wrong) who gives a shit about Santa Claus’s feelings on Easter. Grady insisted on wearing his Santa pjs while dying eggs so The Big Guy wouldn’t think he’d been…

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School Socks

The other day I told Grady that I put new school socks in his drawer. As you can imagine, he was super excited. The next morning, he waltzed out with his backpack and lunch box, calling over his shoulder, “Bye,…

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Rosa Parks

It’s Black History Month and Grady has to do a report on Rosa Parks. I’m not gonna lie – I’ve been dreading this project because Grady has no concept of racism or segregation. I knew it was going to make…

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Me and My Mop

Last Friday at 6 AM, I woke up to go to the gym. On my way out of the house, I discovered a new body of water running through the kitchen and dining room. A water line had broken. Oh…

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Encore! Encore!

We took the kids to see The Lion King on Broadway. They were blown away. I was blown away just watching them be blown away. It was a major blowout for the entire family. But a week or so earlier…

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Tapping and Coding

On Saturday mornings, when normal people are still tucked in bed nursing their Friday happy hour headaches, millions of parents are schlepping their children around town to karate, piano, soccer, hockey, cooking, robotics, gymnastics, tennis, painting, mind reading, gardening, surfing,…

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TM

Overheard this morning. Grady: Annie, do you know what a trademark is? Annie Bea: No. Grady: You DON’T? Oh, Annie. This is important. Annie Bea: What is a trader? Grady: No. It’s a trademark. And a trademark is an evil…

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The Finger

When Jason arrived at school today, Grady’s teacher greeted him with a concerned look in her eyes. Teacher: Mr. Levine, I have some bad news. Grady gave Max the finger. Jason: He what? Teacher: Grady gave Max the finger and…

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