On June 10th, Annie Bea turned 6-years-old. On June 15th, Grady turned 9-years-old. Thinking back on the days when Annie Bea and Grady were still in diapers and eating birthday cake with their hands (ok, they still eat cake with…
Category: The Ham Sandwich
The Noseeum Night from Hell
Grady ‘s Cub Scout Troop had their final camping trip this weekend. Since we weren’t able to make any of the other trips, we decided to go for it. We packed up the the tent, lawn chairs, SPF, bug spray…
John Doe, Joe Schmoe & What’s His Name
Jason is bad with names. Terrible. Atrocious. He called me Derby (my maiden name) for the first few years we dated and I always secretly wondered if he knew my first name is actually Nicole. Or if he did think…
Your Age Plus 1
Experts say we can only expect our children to pay attention for this many minutes: age + 1 minute. So Annie Bea can theoretically pay attention for 6 minutes and Grady can pay attention for 9 minutes. I’ve yet to…
Mosquitos Love Me
I spent all day assembling a swing for Grady and Annie Bea. All that was left to do was put the stakes in the ground. The finishing touches. Only problem? It had just turned 5 PM. That’s when the mosquitos…
That Scene from Zoolander
It was a cold December morning in Albany, New York. The house was quiet—except for two screaming children and an 85-year-old Bahamian woman (Jason’s childhood nanny) mumbling something about wifey (wifi). Ahhh, home for the holidays. Jason was running some…
GH
It’s a miracle anyone has ever learned to read the English language. Annie Bea: I know how to spell tough. T U F F. Right? Me: Well, phonetically you are correct. But tough is actually spelled T O U G…
Jobs I Would Never Do
“I am a hairstylist at the American Girl doll salon. I spray water on dolls’ heads and brush out the knots. By the time the kids leave the store with their dolls, all of my hard work looks like total…
Young Love
Me: We are going camping this weekend. A lot of your friends will be there. Max, Sophia, Chloe, Matthew, Nick, Christina… Annie Bea: Will Jake be there? Grady: You mean Jake your boyfriend? Annie Bea: He’s not my boyfriend anymore.…
A Brand New Game
We were at my sister-in-law’s house. Dinner was over, the dishes were done and the adults were watching TV. My kids were upstairs getting ready for bed. Lisa, my sister-in-law, went to the kitchen for a glass of wine. Lisa:…