If you grew up in the 70’s or 80’s, the mailman held the key to your Santa Wish List. It weighed 20 pounds, gave you 1,000 paper cuts and contained everything your little heart desired. I’m talking about the Toys”R”Us…
Category: The Ham Sandwich
Gingerbread House
The 5th Pain of Christmas is arts and crafts. We’re not good at building things. I think the gingerbread speaks for itself.
Nice Buns
Some little girls were blessed with long, thick, full heads of hair. That means they have nice buns. It also means they don’t share any genes with me. The 5th Pain of Christmas is trying to get my daughter’s hair…
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
Around the holidays every parent turns into a big fat liar. Day in and day out, I hear myself repeating, “Santa is watching. I’m calling Santa. Santa called and said you’re on the naughty list. Santa wanted me to tell…
Old Saint Nick
Gifts are fun and festive and thoughtful. They’re also another significant factor in the 12 Pains of Christmas. Why? Let me count the ways. The Planning. No matter how many times you make a list of all the people you…
Smile, It’s Christmas!
Grady was born in 2010. That means I’ve been concepting, writing, designing and addressing Christmas cards for 8 years now. In my opinion, this is one of the biggest pains in the ass that comes with the holiday season. You…
Top 10 in Europe
Top Ten Noteworthy Things that Happened on Our European Cruise 10. I asked the cruise guide if Malta was in Italy or Greece. He asked if I was talking about Malta the country. Oh. 9. Jason bought white shorts and…
I Dropped Him on His Head as a Baby
Ten years ago, Jason and I were putting the final touches on our wedding plans (aka, having drinks with friends at a bar in New York City). That’s when we got the news. A young couple named Stevie and Milo…
How Does My Garden Grow?
When you have kids, you have to do things you don’t want to do. You just have to. You have to read the same bedtime book over and over. You have to brush Barbie’s knotted, ratty hair. You have to search…
Soccer Cones
Apparently we don’t pick up Hammy’s poop in the backyard anymore. We just set up a few soccer cones and that’s that.