The Diary of Revenge

Grady loves to read. He loves science. He likes to test out experiments and learn about new species and plant gardens and solve puzzles and catch fish. He wants to love sports and wrestle and other things that most “manly…

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Special Delivery

This is how I know I am old. Or not cool. Or lame. Or too safe. Or goodie goodie. Or anything but what I ever wanted to be. I was hanging out with some people (people 15 years younger than…

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Aiden’s Mom

Jason, the kids and I spent the weekend at Legoland with my mom. There’s just something about a Florida theme park in July. I can’t quite explain it. No wait, let me try. It was about 9,800 degrees Fahrenheit. We…

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This Is Your Captain Screaming

Yesterday we boarded the plane for our first of many family adventures this summer. About 20 minutes before landing, my son had to use the bathroom. The bathroom we had been sitting next to the entire flight. Grady was in…

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The Dentist

Going to the dentist was not particularly fun when I was a kid. I mean, I wasn’t someone who hated the dentist. I wasn’t scared or anything like that. But I definitely didn’t look forward to it. Not the way my…

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Happy Hustler’s Day

When I was 15-years-old, my father dropped me off for my first day of work at Aunt Emmie’s Ice Cream Shoppe. Before I got out of the car he made one thing clear. I had to hustle. Dad: Don’t let…

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Dear Meredith Vieira’s Mom

Dear Meredith Vieira’s Mom, I don’t know if this is a true story. But in my mind it is very real. I believe one day years ago, I heard your daughter, Meredith, tell the world something you taught her. It…

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Jerks Don’t Get Lice

I never had lice as a child. But as an adult? Twice. And both times I got it from my son. I got it from snuggling up close and reading to him. From loving and hugging him. From brushing his…

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Mafia Rats

For months we have been dealing with rats in our roof. A few weeks ago, as some of you may know, they started moving into our cabinets. After setting and resetting traps, it appears the rats have left the building.…

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I’m Not a Scientist

While dying Easter eggs, I was reminded of the fact that I am not a scientist. Here’s the play by play. Grady: What are these candies for? Me: They’re not candies. Don’t eat them. Grady: What are they? Me: They’re…

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