Going to the dentist was not particularly fun when I was a kid. I mean, I wasn’t someone who hated the dentist. I wasn’t scared or anything like that. But I definitely didn’t look forward to it. Not the way my…
Category: The Family
Happy Hustler’s Day
When I was 15-years-old, my father dropped me off for my first day of work at Aunt Emmie’s Ice Cream Shoppe. Before I got out of the car he made one thing clear. I had to hustle. Dad: Don’t let…
Dear Meredith Vieira’s Mom
Dear Meredith Vieira’s Mom, I don’t know if this is a true story. But in my mind it is very real. I believe one day years ago, I heard your daughter, Meredith, tell the world something you taught her. It…
Jerks Don’t Get Lice
I never had lice as a child. But as an adult? Twice. And both times I got it from my son. I got it from snuggling up close and reading to him. From loving and hugging him. From brushing his…
Mafia Rats
For months we have been dealing with rats in our roof. A few weeks ago, as some of you may know, they started moving into our cabinets. After setting and resetting traps, it appears the rats have left the building.…
I’m Not a Scientist
While dying Easter eggs, I was reminded of the fact that I am not a scientist. Here’s the play by play. Grady: What are these candies for? Me: They’re not candies. Don’t eat them. Grady: What are they? Me: They’re…
The Luck of the Jewish
Forget leprechauns and shamrocks and The Blarney Stone. If you want to be lucky, just be a Levine. My mother-in-law has had 42 car accidents (3 of which she totaled the car parked behind her in her very own driveway).…
Order Up
If there’s one thing my dad and I have in common, it’s that we can’t resist paying for everyone. I got us another round. Put your money away. I already paid. It’s been taken care of. You can pay next…
The Tent Mahal
A couple of weeks ago we did what some might call “light camping.” It was a campout at Annie Bea’s preschool. We roasted marshmallows, told campfire stories (inside the preschool hall on a nap time rug) and slept in a…
Rat Bastard
There is a rat in my house. I haven’t slept in 84 hours. I haven’t stepped foot in the kitchen, either. I’ve been crying. I’ve been shaking. I have come undone. I’m terrified, horrified and mortified. In that order. First…