The Dentist

Going to the dentist was not particularly fun when I was a kid. I mean, I wasn’t someone who hated the dentist. I wasn’t scared or anything like that. But I definitely didn’t look forward to it. Not the way my…

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Happy Hustler’s Day

When I was 15-years-old, my father dropped me off for my first day of work at Aunt Emmie’s Ice Cream Shoppe. Before I got out of the car he made one thing clear. I had to hustle. Dad: Don’t let…

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Dear Meredith Vieira’s Mom

Dear Meredith Vieira’s Mom, I don’t know if this is a true story. But in my mind it is very real. I believe one day years ago, I heard your daughter, Meredith, tell the world something you taught her. It…

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Jerks Don’t Get Lice

I never had lice as a child. But as an adult? Twice. And both times I got it from my son. I got it from snuggling up close and reading to him. From loving and hugging him. From brushing his…

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Mafia Rats

For months we have been dealing with rats in our roof. A few weeks ago, as some of you may know, they started moving into our cabinets. After setting and resetting traps, it appears the rats have left the building.…

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I’m Not a Scientist

While dying Easter eggs, I was reminded of the fact that I am not a scientist. Here’s the play by play. Grady: What are these candies for? Me: They’re not candies. Don’t eat them. Grady: What are they? Me: They’re…

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The Luck of the Jewish

Forget leprechauns and shamrocks and The Blarney Stone. If you want to be lucky, just be a Levine. My mother-in-law has had 42 car accidents (3 of which she totaled the car parked behind her in her very own driveway).…

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Order Up

If there’s one thing my dad and I have in common, it’s that we can’t resist paying for everyone. I got us another round. Put your money away. I already paid. It’s been taken care of. You can pay next…

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The Tent Mahal

A couple of weeks ago we did what some might call “light camping.” It was a campout at Annie Bea’s preschool. We roasted marshmallows, told campfire stories (inside the preschool hall on a nap time rug) and slept in a…

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Rat Bastard

There is a rat in my house. I haven’t slept in 84 hours. I haven’t stepped foot in the kitchen, either. I’ve been crying. I’ve been shaking. I have come undone. I’m terrified, horrified and mortified. In that order. First…

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