Forget leprechauns and shamrocks and The Blarney Stone. If you want to be lucky, just be a Levine. My mother-in-law has had 42 car accidents (3 of which she totaled the car parked behind her in her very own driveway).…
Category: The Family
Order Up
If there’s one thing my dad and I have in common, it’s that we can’t resist paying for everyone. I got us another round. Put your money away. I already paid. It’s been taken care of. You can pay next…
The Tent Mahal
A couple of weeks ago we did what some might call “light camping.” It was a campout at Annie Bea’s preschool. We roasted marshmallows, told campfire stories (inside the preschool hall on a nap time rug) and slept in a…
Rat Bastard
There is a rat in my house. I haven’t slept in 84 hours. I haven’t stepped foot in the kitchen, either. I’ve been crying. I’ve been shaking. I have come undone. I’m terrified, horrified and mortified. In that order. First…
We’re Too Funny. You’re Too Kind.
For the second year in a row, The Levines have been voted FUNNIEST FAMILY. It may seem odd for the committee to declare such a major award when we’re only three weeks into 2018 and so many other families haven’t…
Sweater Weather
We are experiencing an extreme cold front in Miami this week. 60 degrees. Brrrrrr. So this morning I shoved my tank tops aside and opted for a warm, cozy, turtleneck sweater. After dropping Annie Bea off at her preschool and…
Wackjobs
They should have a psychiatrist in every Labor and Delivery room handing out Wackjob certificates to all the new moms. Because the second you gain a baby is the second you start losing your mind. You go from “La De…
You Play What You Know
For the first ten years of my life, my parents, my sister and I rented the top floor of a two-family house in South Hackensack, NJ. Then my father moved to Long Island to start his own company. A year…
Amazon Review
The kids have been begging to go camping. If you know Jason and I, you know how totally horrible this idea is. Especially in Florida. Something tells me we’d end up pitching our tent on top of a couple of…