They should have a psychiatrist in every Labor and Delivery room handing out Wackjob certificates to all the new moms. Because the second you gain a baby is the second you start losing your mind. You go from “La De…
Category: The Family
You Play What You Know
For the first ten years of my life, my parents, my sister and I rented the top floor of a two-family house in South Hackensack, NJ. Then my father moved to Long Island to start his own company. A year…
Amazon Review
The kids have been begging to go camping. If you know Jason and I, you know how totally horrible this idea is. Especially in Florida. Something tells me we’d end up pitching our tent on top of a couple of…
Derby Doolittle
My maiden name is Derby. And I have a long history of being chased by animals – llamas, squirrels, birds, fish, cats, iguanas, horses, frogs – they all want a piece of me. So from time to time, my friends…
Rated X
Jason and I were watching a murder-mystery show (as usual) when Annie Bea waltzed into the room. We couldn’t find the remote to pause before the host described a man being decapitated and showed a series of bloody photos. Whoops.…
Take Your Kid to Work Days
Last week I filled my quota for Take Your Kid to Work Days. Jason and I had a colossal clusterfuck of babysitters canceling, back-up babysitters unavailable, no school days, make-up sports practices, tight deadlines at the office, homework overload and…
Prototypes
Feisty Pets are adorable. They melt your heart. You want to hold them and love them and squeeze them. And then… just when you’ve fallen madly in love, they lose their shit. They release their fangs. Their inner demons appear…
Magic Eraser
I was in the living room. The kids were in the toy room when Grady shouted for me to come see something. Only he didn’t say, “Come see something!” His exact words were, “We have a surprise for you, Mom!…
The Levines Love Halloween
Top Ten Reasons 10. Halloween is a holiday without formal traditions. No gifts. No cooking. No family drama. No pressure. 9. We all celebrate Halloween. Even Jesus! 8. Halloween is the only day of the year when everyone is expected…
The Halloween Aisle
What you see if you DON’T have little kids: Cuteness. What you see if you DO have little kids: Lice.