Don’t Be Sad

I am spending too much time talking to a baby. Yesterday I was trying to figure out how to use an Ergo. It’s so complicated. I was getting frustrated when I hear myself say (to myself), “It’s ok. Don’t be…

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The Mall

10:30 AM on a weekday at the mall. Who’s there? Moms and babies. It’s like a giant daycare center. Everyone’s screaming and waiting for the “family restroom.” We’re all settling in for lunch at the food court… at 11:30 AM.…

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Drunk Swing

The batteries in Grady’s swing are dying. They are dying a slow and painful death. It sounds like the swing is wasted. Like it just got home from a pub crawl.But I will milk those batteries till the last second.…

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I Miss Yesterday

Yesterday Grady couldn’t roll from his back to his stomach. Today he can. And he can’t stop! So now playmat time must be constantly monitored. I used to be able to go to the bathroom, get a glass of water,…

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Livin’ on the Edge

We like to live on the edge. This morning we woke up and had one diaper. That’s one, uno, singular, after you use it you have nada. ONE! Have you ever asked a baby to “Hold it?” It doesn’t work.…

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He, She, It, Whatever

A neighbor, Bonnie, has been wanting to watch Grady for a while now. She is the sweetest. One problem. No matter how many times she meets Grady, no matter how many shades of blue I put him in, no matter…

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Special Delivery

We got to the post office early this morning to stand in line for Grady’s passport. A little stressful to have an hour wait with a newborn. Luckily we had a bottle and all the baby fixins’. So we’re on…

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Big Pimpin’

Sometimes when I go to the supermarket, I feel like I should be wearing a big gold chain with a dollar sign on it. I’m cruising around Boulder (the most wholesome town on earth) like a pimp. Why? Because Grady…

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What’s Wrong with This Picture?

So when Grady was one week old my cousin came from California to help us out. Awesome. I decided to take a nap while Jason (the father of my child) and Ali (an educated college student) watch Grady. Between the…

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Grady’s First Fuckin’ Word

We need to change our entire vocabulary. Jason uses the F word as much as… well I can’t think of anything clever but it’s a lot. And 12 years of Catholic school did squat for my language. Thank you, New…

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