The Pee Race

Living in a house with men is disgusting. They leave peanut butter on the sponge in the sink. They track mud throughout the house. They eat popcorn in bed. And they don’t rinse down the sink after brushing their teeth.…

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The White Minivan

Jason’s Passat has gone to a better place. The dump. Jason had an accident a couple of weeks ago and luckily no one was hurt but the car. While we shop for a new hoopdy, Jason has been driving a…

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IKEA

A long long time ago, when Jason and I first started dating, we went to IKEA to buy furniture for his new apartment. He needed everything… bed, dresser, dining table, chairs, night stands, everything. We walked through the showrooms. I…

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You’ve Got Mail

I had to use Jason’s computer and when I opened the screen his email popped up. He had 51,856 unread emails. More than 50,000 messages just sitting there taking up space. I wanted to punch a hole in the computer…

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Ugh, I’m So Itchy!

Happy 7 Year Itch to Jason and I! 7 years ago we were reciting ridiculous vows to each other like “I promise not to leave empty soda cans in the refrigerator. (and) I vow not to spend too much money.…

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Working for the Man

I am starting a new job on Monday. It’s a 5 month contract writing for an agency down here in Miami. And my boss? My husband. THIS will be interesting. I’m going to have some divorce papers written up now.…

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One Hour

Jason watched the kids this morning while I went food shopping. I was gone for one hour. One hour. When I left the house it was clean and orderly. An hour later… just one hour… the place looked like Hoarders…

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GPMs

Jason is sick. He’s burning up with a 98.4 fever. I know that’s lower than the average body temperature but in “Man Cold” terms it’s the equivalent of 101.4. I made him some matzo ball soup, let him rest and…

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Key West

On Friday morning I woke Jason up and told him he wasn’t going to work. Instead, the two of us were packing our bags and heading to Key West without the kids! My father and stepmom flew in from New…

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Silence of the Lambs

Ask any strong, healthy couple what romantic, love story type of movie reminds them of each other and they will tell you Silence of the Lambs. When Jason and I first started dating, 14 years ago, we had a routine.…

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